Canadian Music Speech from a Tow Truck Driver

by

The following quote is from a fan in Kamloops who has something important to say about supporting Canadian artists:

“Dear Canada Jams, thanks for responding and letting me write in to you guys. My name is Chris and I live in Kamloops, British Columbia with my sister and my dog. I was googling around the wide web trying to find support for my sister because she’s a guitar player, and I was touched by your motivation to support Canadian artists. Now I would love for this message to get shared and heard across Canada. I hope your blog can do this for me.

kamloops“I truly believe my sister has the talent to make a great career out of singing and playing the guitar. But I’m so annoyed by locals in Kamloops because rather than giving her attention they’d much rather listen to popular American music. To combat this everyday I listen to her music as loud as I can in my tow truck around Kamloops. Already by doing this I have managed to glean her some support by catching the attention of listeners who wonder who made that fabulous music. People are often shocked and surprised to learn that the music they call “magical” is in fact made by a local right here in Kamloops. I think knowing the fact that my sister is a local makes them love her even more. If only there was a way to get more locals to know of her, I think she could become a celebrity fairly quickly. But this is hard to do with all the American trash music coming in across the border via radio waves and the internet. To help our local artists prosper I truly believe we need to shut the borders off from music so to speak. I mean we should block all American music from making its way onto Canadian avenues of entertainment so that we can start to appreciate our own artists more. Our economy would benefit greatly from seeing our own artistic creators benefit from their skills rather than giving all our money and time to those idiots across the border.

“So today if you’re looking for tow truck Kamloops, don’t be surprised if you hear the beautiful singing and guitar playing of my sister. I think towing cars for my auto shop in Kamloops is a great opportunity for my sister to get heard, but I know there’s better ways out there. If only Canadians could understand the importance of appreciating local artists rather than media-induced superstars in America, people like my sister would actually be able to follow their dreams and make a profitable career here in Canadian borders. Who knows, perhaps even Americans would start to dig her like they did for Drake. Well, that’s my rant for you guys and I hope your readers see the importance of it. Thank you for allowing me to share and I look forward to your response.”

Our response:

Thank you, Chris. You put in better words what we’re trying to do here with this blog than we could ourselves. It’s very true that Canadians have built the habit of praising American artwork rather than looking here for undiscovered talent which in many cases is even better than top 20 hits in America. If I’m ever looking for a tow truck service in Kamloops BC, I hope I get your tow truck and you as a driver because I’d love to hear your sister play. I know you didn’t wish to share her name because you didn’t want this to come across as a pitiful way to get her more listeners, but I really wish I could know her name just to share her music here.

If only every tow truck driver in Canada let alone British Columbia was as serious as you about this, playing Canadian music, I think that alone would be enough to solve the problem, and that says a lot about how serious I think you are. It’s people like you, Chris, that will make the great difference for us as Canadians in deciding where our music comes from. Your powerful words have touched me and I hope they do the same for our beloved readers. So once again, thank you Chris. You’re the best Canadian tow truck driver ever! I wish your sister the best of luck!

 

Best Fan Made Remix Album of All Time (RIP Makaveli)

by

best tupac remixDespite the rant in our previous post, we want to give a shot out to the best American musician of all time (in our opinion). Mister explosive Tupac Shakur, the master of rap, will live on forever in the grace of fan-made remixes. Phonies like Drake loose face among the real hip-hop heads when they say such nonsense as “Tupac is over-rated.” Son, you’re overrated! Tupac deserved every ounce of his success for a damn fine reason. He’s a born natural talent and to this day no one has surpassed his skill.

If you’re looking for the best remix album of all time, CHECK THIS OUT, boy!

A road to glory INDEED! If you were born in ’98 and listen to wack crap on the radio today then PLEASE take a phat haul of this album and try to understand why the real of the real say hip-hop is dead. THIS IS THE REAL SHYYYYYTTE, son! By far this is Canada Jams top No.1 fan-made remix album of all time. Rip in pepperoni Makaveli! By the motivation inspired by you through us, we will make sure future generation realize how crappy their music is by blaring you with the bass turned up to max.

Live on!

Popular Canadian Music is NOT Wannabe American Music!

by

WARNING: This is an angry rant from a true Canadian!

stupid americans

Americans often joke about Canadian music by calling is knock-off or a low quality version of pop music in the USA. The truth is we’re very, very proud of our music NOT being American. Like, seriously, have you heard American music on the radio lately? It’s sooo bad!

I had a conversation with my hairdresser the other day–a very kind old lady–and when this wack American pop song started playing on the radio I asked her, “How can you work with this garbage playing?” She said, “I just ignore it.” Then we talked on a little further and she commented, “It’s not that everything in the music industry has already been done. Young people just don’t know what to do anymore.” Like, seriously, she’s so right! Of course I’m forgetting all the genius musicians who ARE contributing to great art in the music industry. I’m speaking of the majority and the crap on the top 40 hit lists that only fourteen-year-olds and adults who drink too much soda pop like to listen to.

There’s a formula for making a top 40-esque song these days, and it requires using a mundane “lullaby” type of rhythm and repeating the same line over and over and over again. I think Americans have a great problem when it comes to popular music. They seem to be too dull-minded to even know that the music they’re listening to is based off of nursery rhymes for little baby’s bed times and night, night songs. Like googoo gaga, blah blah blah is all they seem to be saying in their lyrics, quite literally! This is why I’m so proud to be Canadian. And I hope an American who loves Little Wayne reads this and hates me because that would make me very, very satisfied. Yeah ,that’s right, buds. I hate the music you listen to with a passion! Little Wayne is wack. If Mozart could hear it he would turn over in his grave and poop himself in horror.

If we’re going to give respect to music from a nation other than Canada, I think my shot out would go to France. Like, damn O man, they’re music is good.

But don’t get my words twisted boys and girls. I LOOOOVE American music before the year 1998. ’50s American rock and roll–LOVE IT! ’60s American jazz–LOVE IT! ’70s American rock–LOVE IT! ’80s American funk–EXTRA LOVE IT! ’90s American hip hop–mmm, SO GOOD!

But today in 2018 I think everyone around the world can agree America has a problem. And that problem has nothing to do with us upperworldly Canadians. Oh, no! Quite frankly we’re very glad NOT to be American. We find it ironic how Americans make fun of us for being polite and civilized when they all think it’s cool to play horrible music and dance around like moronic apes.

Ahhhh, if felt so good to get that off my chest. How’s that for a first blog post?

Stay tuned for more!